Two things have been constant in my life for as long as I can remember, my love of food and my anxiety.
In October 2015 the latter became so bad that I had no choice but to leave my job. I no longer felt nauseous constantly, the continuous headaches began to get better too, but I became isolated and depressed. Rather than improving, things got worse and I spent a long time refusing to leave my house.
One of the things I missed most during this time was the delicious food I used to enjoy. Visiting restaurants was now out of the question and the amount of money I was spending on takeaways was getting out of control, especially as I wasn’t actually earning any money. It didn’t take long to realise that if I wanted to eat well I was going to have to learn to cook.
I grabbed one of my mums recipe books, googled “how to chop an onion without crying” and proceeded to make one of the worst tomato sauces I’ve ever eaten. It really was awful, but it was the first thing I’d accomplished in ages and it felt amazing! Not long after that I made a roast dinner, a seafood linguine and a toad in the hole. With each dish, my confidence improved and the quality of the food I was making did too.
Each day is still a battle, but when I look back at my life this time last year I can’t believe how far I’ve come. Of course I’m not saying that cooking is some sort of magic solution, but I do really believe that having something you’re passionate about does you the world of good, and being able to share that passion with others who love what you do too is an incredible feeling!
I still have lots to learn, I still have days when my cakes don’t rise and my sauces go lumpy and it feels like I can’t do anything right. To be honest, I still have days when I’m unable to leave my house too, but I’m still here, still learning, still growing and I’m so happy that you guys are coming on this journey with me!